
Blowing up a relationship — it’s every blogger’s worst nightmare, and a few months ago, it almost happened to me.
My only steady client sent me a fuming email. She demanded her money back because she claimed I had plagiarized, which was “unethical and… unacceptable.” The worst part: she said, “[I] can no longer accept your article submissions.”
I wasn’t originally given the chance to do a rewrite or explain my side of the story.
I was completely side-swiped.
After all, I’d done an interview with a popular wedding planner on Facebook. I had even sent my editor the transcript, and according to a free online plagiarism checker, my article had 0% non-unique content. (By the way, a 2014 study from Texas Tech found that plagiarism checkers often produce false positives, especially when jargon or “topic phrases” are used. Those checkers can also provide incorrect source links, and score papers inconsistently.)
It turns out I did plagiarize by accident. I’d copied quotes from something I’d read online and inserted them into my piece without proper attribution, so why did my client write this glowing testimonial less than a month later?
Cherese exudes personality in her writing, she consistently expresses innovative tips in a way that our readers love. Cherese has the ability to interview industry experts and summarize their knowledge using language that is easy to understand. Cherese shows incredible professionalism, is always open to feedback and works hard to ensure her posts meet our needs.”
I turned my rocky working relationship around, and you can too.
First of all, take a deep breath. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Are you calm? If not, hide your laptop, phone, or tablet. Yes, I’m serious! Go for a walk, scream into a pillow, eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s (and cry into it), or get down on your knees and say a prayer.
Then pull up your britches and…
1. Learn your rights
When my client wanted a refund, I contacted “free” lawyers on Reddit to see if I needed to actually pay up.
One lawyer I spoke to said that he didn’t give a bullfrog’s queef about my feelings and that I’m a shit writer who no one would ever want to work with again. (Of course, he was wrong. My editor allowed me to rewrite the article — It’s ended up being the most popular one I’ve ever written — provided that I did more interviews and included a source list. Plus, I even picked up two new clients!)
After the Reddit disaster, I decided to bone up on Fair Use laws.
In a nutshell, Fair Use means you can use part of another’s copyrighted work without asking permission. If you use a snippet of text for educational, research, commentary, news, or comedic purposes, it’s completely legal.
Fair Use laws get a little murky if you’re using an author’s words for commercial purposes though. For example, you can use Bob Dylan’s line “You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows” in a published poem. However, you wouldn’t be able to use the phrase as a tagline for your raincoat business. You can use this checklist from Columbia University to find out if you’re using another author’s work fairly.
I also consulted a “real” lawyer for free online. You can use RocketLaywer, FreeAdvice, or Avvo and get back answers about your freelance conundrums in a few minutes or hours.
My local lawyer told me that once your clients pay you, whether upon acceptance or publication, if they want their money back (for any reason), they’ll have to take you to court. They’ll also need to convince the judge that they’ve been swindled or that you’ve broken your contract.
Armed with this information, I wrote to my editor, “It is your job to screen incoming articles for content and grammatical issues before sending payment.”
If you’re thinking I have some iron gonads and you’re shaking behind the screen because you’d never in a million years say that to your editor, stop. You’re running a business; it’s that simple.
2. Ask for more information (and realize editors have preconceptions)
I wasn’t originally given the chance to explain, so I decided to throw caution to the wind and asked my client for more information. Remember, the worst thing your client could do is tell you to go to hell or never reply. (Will either of those things really hurt you? No.)
Luckily, my editor did reply, and I learned that she thought that I had a journalism degree. I actually have a degree in psychology and art.
My client was positive that I understood the rules of professional writing. I didn’t. I’d only written college papers, where I was free to cite and lift passages from books or others’ interviews. Once I explained this, the client didn’t see the situation as black and white.
Of course, you can’t completely prevent misconceptions about your experience, but a solid paragraph about your credentials (Where are you from? Where have you been published? Why are you the best writer for the gig?) in your LOI hybrid or pitch can prevent you from ruffling your editors’ feathers.
3. Learn the rules of journalism
Many blogs now require learning AP (Associated Press Style), but you don’t have to shell out 80-130 grand to get a journalistic education. Carol Tice and Linda Formichelli offer an affordable 4-week Journalism Crash Course, but if you’re short on cash, check out Coursera’s free, self-directed open courses for budding and experienced journalists.
4. Be honest
When your relationship with a client explodes, you have to suck it up and tell the truth. Tell it early, clearly and eloquently.
(Interesting side note: A study published recently in ACM Transactions on Management Information Systems claims that deceivers tend to take longer to reply to digital messages, and when they do reply, they tend to use simpler vocabulary.)
When I realized I’d truly messed up, I wrote:
I appreciate you writing me and letting me know what you discovered with my article. I want to deeply apologize for causing you to have to take time out of your busy schedule in order to deal with this. I will not give you a bunch of excuses. I take full responsibility for my mistake. I realize that the consequence is the termination of our working relationship, and I completely respect your decision.”
I also let her know that I was going to rewrite the original article because I didn’t want to leave her in the lurch scrambling to find another article to stuff in the section. Plus, the interviewee deserved to be published. The editor could take the article to make our accounts even, or leave it.
5. Be professional
I could have smeared the company’s name all over social media (like those Internet trolls everyone hates), but I didn’t.
Comments on the Net are never really deleted, and instead of the client looking like a big jerk, it’s the troll who looks bad. Plus, if potential clients see you ranting about another client online, they’ll assume you’re a ticking time-bomb waiting to smear their names as soon as they sneeze the wrong way.
Instead, focus on all the positive things you’ve learned working for this client. Did you learn how to write SEO? Did you learn how to use WordPress? Did you land some killer interviews? Did you get paid and get to work in a job you love? Good. Focus on that and if you can’t find anything positive to say, then say nothing (at least not where there’s a digital footprint).
I personally thanked my client for all the things I learned from her. After that, she even wrote that she hoped I’d continue working with the company, but that “whether you decide to or not, I wish you the best!”
6. Ask for other bloggers’ advice
Free writers’ forums and seasoned bloggers are your 911 line. Use them.
When I really fudged it up, I spoke to Freelance Writers Den Mother Carol Tice. At the time, I didn’t know about the Be A Freelance Blogger site. (Bummer.)
Carol helped me figure out whether I’d be able to use my clips — I could, because I hadn’t signed a contract. She also let me know that not all hope was lost because “the good news is there are a lot of clients in the sea.” I’d have to start my business over from scratch, but I wasn’t (and you won’t be) the first writer to blow up a relationship and lose the ability to ask for a testimonial or referral. I’d live to write another day!
This gave me the gumption to actually contact my editor, and I’m so glad that I did.
My editor couldn’t read my mind, and sadly, I couldn’t read her mind either. As Linda Formichelli wrote in a recent Monday Motivation email:
I know that this throws many writers for a loop, because they don’t want to admit to their editors that they don’t have everything perfectly under control. But editors are human, too. They breathe oxygen, eat food, snap at their kids, and get parking tickets. In the vast majority of cases, they’re happy to answer your questions…[and even willing to listen to your side of the story.] My editor even thanked me for sharing my point of view and invited me to write more articles for her!”
So, don’t let anyone tell you can’t rebuild a blown-up relationship. You can.
I won’t lie to you. It’s hard work. Some editors won’t be willing to give you another chance, but if you’re honest and professional (and have an iron pair), you’ve already won half the battle.
What a great story, Cherese! There’s so much to be learned here from your experience, and I’m sure you’ve learned a ton that only made you stronger, both as a business owner and a writer.
Thank you, Alicia. You just never know where you’re going to be a year from now. A year ago, I was flipping through career books and websites. I’d graduated with a degree in child development and art. I spent five years co-teaching kindergarten, second, and third grade, but I didn’t enjoy it–at least not completely.
I fell into a deep depression where I visited Dr. Google (the search engine). I ran into a Be a Freelance Blogger, Make a Living Writing, and the Renegade writer. I felt the career calling my name. (I was a journalist and poet in high school.) I didn’t even know what a blog or pitch was (unless we’re talking about baseball.) I learn a ton every day. I’ve had a plagiarism scare and my first trolls (Awww….). I’ve had my ups and downs, but this is one rollercoaster I love riding. The best part is having other writers to sit in the seat with you. Thanks!
Nice article! I have blown up a few friendships like this, but it’s nice to know that similar methods of reparation (apologies, communication, cake) can make things right again.
And you really do have an Iron Pair! (Of ovaries!) ;D
Thanks, Dawn! I’ve blown-up a few friendships of my own. I tend to pull away when things get uncomfortable or retreat into my mind–my working room. Cake (always a winner in my book), communication, and a good ‘ole “I’m sorry” goes a long way, though.
Thanks for being brave and sharing your story. Sounds like it worked out for the best and you learned a ton in the process. Keep on, keeping on!
Thanks, Gina. I like to think that my writing blunders are learning experiences.
I try to think like Thomas Edison who said, “”I have not failed 700 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those 700 ways will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work.”
The only thing about freelance writing is every person’s success (or way) is different. For some writers, ignoring trolls is a success. Others kill trolls with kindness. Diana Burrell uses humor like “I guess you’re not going to want the Renegade Writer’s mug.”
Whatever works for you, do it. 🙂
Thanks so much for this Cherese. I have been paralyzed because of a blow up I had with a client not so long ago. I will definitely benefit from you sharing your blow up experience.
Thank you, Tracey. I was paralyzed when it happened too. I just couldn’t believe it. I felt so inexperienced and frankly stupid. I think the big thing–whether you can Band-aid the relationship or not–is to not stay afraid. We’re going to make mistakes. We’re going to fall down, but freelancing is all about getting back up.
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I really learned a lot from it, and it’s nice to know that other writers make mistakes also. 😉 I’m going to check out those free journalism courses. PS I’m a Tennessee girl myself!
Woohoo for Tennessee girls! Poynter’s News University is my favorite free Journalism site. All of the classes are self-directed, so you can go at your own pace. Most of the classes are free, and they’re taught by writers who have been in the trenches.
Thanks for this. I haven’t had this issue yet, but I like to stay prepared. I find that open communication is very important and so far I’ve been able to maintain that with all my clients.
You’re welcome, Sharon. I hope you never have to deal with a blown-up relationship, but it’s great to be prepared. I agree with you that open communication is key!
First off, congratulations for turning this relationship around so successfully!
More importantly, I applaud your courage to honestly explain your side of the story.
I am afraid to ‘sneeze the wrong way’, lest I offend a client. But, over the last eight months, I have learned that the best I can do is work from a place of genuine intentions. I cannot control someone else’s response or reaction.
#HUGSSSSS
I bet you have grown stronger after this experience <3
Thanks again
Kitto
Thanks, Krithika. Congrats on freelancing for 8 months! I’m definitely more knowledgable than I was when I started a year ago.
I’m with you. I sometimes worry about sneezing the wrong way and getting my clients’ panties into a bunch. You’re right, though. “The best [you] can do is work from a place of genuine intentions. [You] cannot control someone else’s response or reaction.” However, the best part is you can control your own. I’m still working on that myself. When something bad happens, I look like Edvard Munch’s The Scream.
Cherese it is brave of you to share this story and very kind to make it a teaching moment for all of us- so thanks for that. I can see how it happened but when you got to the part about how you were used to writing in college- I didn’t find that as compelling because even in college if you quote someone you are to give attribution. I honestly felt that section hurt the strength of your overall piece a bit (and really wasn’t necessary;) as we all make mistakes, in all areas. I am really glad you bounced back and got even stronger! We can all learn from that.
Regards,
Viv
Thanks, Viv. I really appreciate your opinion! I did cite sources in college, but I was free to lift passages from books and interviews. I’ve learned you can’t really do that in professional writing unless you’re doing a book review, op-ed, or commentary. You need fresh quotes or written permission from the publisher. If you do an interview via Facebook, Twitter, or Gmail, you have to say so in the article. I hope that clears up what I meant.
Cherese,
So are you saying that you cited the source and it was still considered plagiarism?
That’s right, Alicia. I cited the sources in the pieces. However, I dropped quotes from other articles into it, and it was considered plagiarism because it was for commercial uses–not commentary, op-ed, parodies, or educational purposes.
For example, it’s okay to use Linda Formichelli’s quote on BAFB because it’s educating writers about how to mend relationships. The laws of copyright and fair use can be confusing. It can be fair-use and the editor still may not like you using it because most people believe that Google penalizes websites for using non-original materials. That’s actually not completely true. (See: https://blog.kissmetrics.com/myths-about-duplicate-content/) Major problems happen when the same text is posted at a high volume like Donald Trump’s quote about Megyn Kelly.
Cherese,
This was extremely informative. I’ve cited sources before but never knew about the need
to know the context for which the source is used.
Thanks for sharing and laying down the steps to take us out of such situations
This can certainly save many of us a lot of trouble in the future when citing sources.
You’re welcome, Patricia! Of course, you’re free to cite ground-breaking research and even parts of books for commercial writing. However, the passage can’t be the “heart” of the book. Criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, or research all count as Fair Use. If the work is “transformative” and not an exact copy, it’s also usually Fair Use. Quotes that don’t affect the potential market value of the original work are also okay. I prefer getting brand-spanking new quotes, though.
We ALL make mistakes in business, it’s how it goes. Never lie, be honest and helpful, professional and try to solve the problems. And do say I’m sorry, some clients just want to have their hurt feelings ‘treated’ with an apology
Ramona, that’s definitely true. I’d love to say this is the only “mistake” I’ve made, but it isn’t. (For example, I recently spelled Stephen King’s name as Steven King!) You’re right that most clients wanting to have their hurt feelings treated with an apology. Wouldn’t we want the same? The golden rule really does apply to all aspects of life…especially freelance blogging and writing.